Little Darling
by love in science
Summary: Jade finds herself standing in front of just about the cutest little boy she's ever seen. And she isn't one to call anything cute. Much less a human being.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **I wrote this because I saw a couple of stories with the 'Cat is Beck and Jade's daughter from the future' theory and thought it was a funny. :] So this is like that. But not.

This won't be long. Four chapters give or take. Just want to keep this as lighthearted as possible. :]

Also. This is my stab at humor. Let's see if I can do funny.

.

**Little Darling**

...

It happens on a rather nondescript Monday morning. LA traffic is still horrendous. The queue at the Jet Brew near Hollywood Arts is as long as ever. The sky is still high above, where it is supposed to be and still very much intact. Except for perhaps the ozone layer. But that's beside the point. The point is, it's Monday and as Mondays go, this one isn't anything special.

Unless you count the hysterical crying echoing through the corridors of Hollywood Arts.

'For a minute there,' Tori muses in the awkward silence that suddenly blanketed their acting class, 'I thought it was Trina. But those tears actually sound _real_.'

'Well, for a minute there, I thought it was Robbie.' Andre points his thumb at his friend. 'But he's here.'

'Plus, it sounds like a... baby?' Sikowitz pulls his ear away from the door. 'A very _loud_ baby. Would any of you like to assist this loud baby? And by assist, I mean, shut it up? It's ruining my coconut-induced visions.'

Gazes are automatically directed to the floor because, really, how is the prospect of having to calm down an obviously missing child in any way attractive? But the crying suddenly takes a turn for the worse and everyone winces the moment it reaches an incredible decibel. And, as if that isn't enough, that same noise appears to be moving closer to their classroom.

'Those are some powerful lungs.'

Sikowitz rubs his temples. 'Sinjin, please get out. You're not even in this class.'

'I vote Robbie.'

'Jade!' Robbie sputters, horrified.

'I vote Jade.'

Jade glares at Beck from over her shoulder. He's been very insistent on catching her attention these past few weeks after she'd stubbornly refused to speak to him about their breakup. All of his attempts have, thus far, been thwarted by either scathing looks, harsh denials or threats by sharp scissors.

'I vote you jump off a bridge,' she says with a smirk.

'My brother jumped off a bridge once,' Cat pipes up. But her reply goes unheeded as the class watches Jade turn to face Beck fully, her pierced eyebrow raised in challenge.

'I bet I can get more votes for _you_ to jump off a bridge, Jade.' There's a smug look on Beck's face that no one really recognizes. This can't really be laid-back Beck, right? No, that Beck would be all 'Jade' in a condescending manner and then let the conversation die a silent death. This Beck, however, seems to enjoy prodding the potentially awful conversation with caustic remarks and sarcasm.

His grin grows as Jade's eyes narrow and her fists clench.

Cat whimpers.

Robbie squeaks.

It's at the tip of her tongue this vicious retort, but the look in his eyes tell her that he's all too prepared for that. Not wanting to let him find any victory in being childish (although, yes, she's the one who started it and yes, she may have caused it to become bigger than it was supposed to be), Jade stands and makes her way to the door.

She yells at Sikowitz to move as she approaches the door to which he jumps out of her way. Stomping outside and into the corridor, Jade finds herself standing in front of just about the cutest little boy she's _ever _seen. And she isn't one to call anything cute. Much less a human being. But _he _is with his riot of dark curls for hair and his honey skin. His chubby little hands rub at his eyes full of tears as he bawls his little heart out. And maybe (kind of _sort of_) she feels a little bad for the kid.

Maybe.

'Yo, where's your mom, dude?' Jade asks the same time someone comes up behind her.

'That's a bit of a stupid question, Jade. Obviously, he doesn't know or else he wouldn't be crying.'

Jade twirls on her heel to face her adversary (otherwise known as her ex-boyfriend, aka _stupid_ Beck). 'Who are you calling stupid, _stupid_?'

She isn't given the satisfaction of an argument. Instead, Beck merely ignores her and pushes past her to kneel in front of the kid. 'Hey buddy,' he says softly, pulling the kid's hands away from his eyes, revealing bright blue eyes that are made especially startling by the amount of tears they hold. 'You okay?'

'_That's_ supposed to be a better question?' Jade snorts and still she is ignored.

Stupid Beck.

Any and all thoughts on comeuppance flies out the window, however, when the little boy stares at Beck for a moment, mouth agape. The awe turns into pure, unadultered happiness and suddenly the kid flings his tiny arms around Beck's neck seemingly holding on for dear life.

'_Daddy_!' the little dude cries out in obvious relief.

Holy mother of chiz.

Beck Oliver is a dad?

'Oh, _Beck_,' Jade singsongs, 'You've got some 'splainin' to do.'

...

**Author's Note****:** Here's a bit of trivia for you. I've obviously gacked that last night from 'I Love Lucy'... or did I? Apparently, Desi Arnaz's character Ricky Ricardo _never_ said that line even once. :] Here's to my mother's DVD box set of I Love Lucy *loff*


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** I am having way too much fun with this story. :] Poor Beck.

Please enjoy!

And by enjoy, I mean, maybe you can leave me a review? :] I have to feed Beck and Jade something. Jade looks about ready to start foaming at the mouth.

.

**Little Darling**

**(and it gets **_**weirder**_**)**

...

Beck looks over his shoulder to glare at Jade only to see a wisp of black and torquise hair disappearing into the classroom. Ah, crab. Given Jade's propensity for the dramatics, she's probably recounting the past ten seconds to the others with much delight (excessive gesturing included) while he's here with—

'Hey, buddy, what's your name?'

'Silly daddy!' Beck is torn between finding the situation funny (because no one calls Beck Oliver _silly _and gets away with it) and horrifying (because the kid just called him daddy _twice_). 'I'm Thad, 'member?'

Thad? What kind of parent would name their kid Thad?

It's a little disconcerting finding himself staring into blue eyes that hold such an intense look of '_god_, you must be stupid' and not have that person be Jade West. He almost feels ashamed of himself. Almost. Then he remembers that this is a prank.

Obviously. It's a prank.

Oh, _sweet_ baby jeebus. It _has_ to be a prank. That's the only thing that makes sense right now, the only thing that can possibly explain this little human hanging onto him for dear life. Surely, if anyone knows Beck it _must_ be Beck. Right? And he can't have possibly fathered a kid. The boy looked about three or four by his estimate and that meant that he helped conceived a child while he was thirteen or fourteen. And trust him when he says that _that_ is about as impossible as... just something really impossible, okay?

(Don't judge. He's under a bit of stress right now.)

But yes. A prank.

And this prank has Jade West written all over it, doesn't it?

All right. Maybe not. But out of anyone he knows, she's the only one who has any motive. A woman scorn and all that... Man, even in his head he sounds like a jerk.

Beck takes a deep breath and looks down at the tiny human in his arms. It does not help any that the kid bears a remarkable resemblance to Beck when he was a kid. The mop of hair is distractingly familiar, for one thing. Fortunately, the little guy looks to have calmed down some, though still hiccuping from time to time. The last remaining tears still cling to the boy's thick lashes but his fingers are busy tracing the necklaces around Beck's neck.

'Dude. So Jade was telling the truth?' says a voice from behind him.

And just when Beck thinks that the situation cannot be more strange, the child's eyes light up instantly and he begins pulling away from Beck. 'Uncle Andre!'

'Whoa, little Beck. Who you calling uncle?' Andre walks into the corridor with Tori and Robbie in tow, the latter two looking about as perplexed by the situation as Beck is feeling.

Robbie's eyes are wide. Wider than they are most of the time, at least. 'That's a kid!'

Yeah. No chiz.

'Totally looks like you, Beck,' Tori comments in awe.

Beck is saved the trouble of reply because the little guy laughs and it's this joyous little melody that sort of warms his heart. A part of thinks that he's heard it before and the other more troubling part thinks that if he hasn't then he _should_. Yet another impossibility to add to the growing list of impossibilities.

'You _always_ say that, Aunt Tori!' The kid pulls away from Beck and bounces over to the other three. Standing in front of Tori, he reaches out and pokes her tummy. 'What happened to your tummy?'

Tori looks at Beck curiously and Beck can only shrug. If they think he has even the slightest handle on the situation, they are gravely mistaken.

'What do you mean?' she asks kindly, crouching down a little. 'Something different with my tummy?'

He pokes it again and giggles. 'Yeah. Where your baby go, Aunt Tori?'

Apparently, it gets even weirder.

Robbie stifles a laugh.

Andre winces.

Tori gasps.

And Beck feels his patience draining slowly from him. It used to be a limitless supply but dating Jade seriously depleted the resources and now he's left with very little of it to go around. He stalks into the classroom to find Jade examining her fingernails while Cat sits beside her yammering on between sucking on a lollipop. His ex looks up as he comes to stand in front of her and the second he sees that sly little smile play along her lips, he feels his temper flare.

'What are you playing at, Jade?' he spats, pointing an accusatory finger at her, something he knows she hates.

She pushes his finger away, predictably, the irritation showing on her face. 'I don't know what you're talking about, Beck. If you mean your spawn—'

'You mean _your_ _prank_,' Beck insists and he doesn't at all appreciate the way her brow furrows in confusion.

'You think I've ignored and avoided you these past few weeks so I can waste my time and play a prank on you?' Her tone is the very epitome of disbelief and the fact that it is devoid of any anger worries Beck. Because... she genuinely seems innocent of the entire thing and if Jade didn't do it then who's child is that?

(And seriously now, who would name their kid Thad?)

As much as he didn't want to admit it, it kind of stung to know that she's actually been ignoring and avoiding him. Yeah, he knows that that's what she's been doing but to hear her say it out loud _hurts_. He's about to engage her in an argument (because that's the only way they talk nowadays) when he hears Tori call him from the doorway and he turns to see what's going on instead. Before he can say anything, however, there's a flash of little person running towards him.

And past him.

Heading straight for...

Jade?

'_Mommy_!'

...

**Author's Note: **If there's any confusion, please note that in the first chapter, the little dude was too caught up in his tears to notice Jade. Beck is the first person he actually notices.

Haha. Yeah. Like _that's_ the part that's confusing. :] But all will be revealed in due time, my moppets!


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** So much thanks to those who have reviewed the story! I'm glad that you guys are enjoying the story :] It feels a little overwhelming, to be honest, because I wasn't really expecting much response and I get this! :) So thank you very much!

I'm having a lot of fun writing this still, but you'll find that this chapter includes _some_ 'drama.' But not to worry. I'll try my best with the funny :]

.

**Little Darling**

**(not good. not. good. at. all.)**

...

That aren't very many people in the world who dare touch Jade West. Actually, since she and Beck broke up and Cat doesn't really count...

No one in the world dares to touch Jade West.

Okay, that's not exactly true. Tori always seems to take advantage of each opportunity to touch her, Andre sometimes slings his arm about her shoulders in a friendly manner before she pushes him away, and she supposes Robbie _would_ touch her if only he didn't possess the inclination to faint right before contact can be made.

People really shouldn't touch Jade West. They _do_ (and people who know better don't) but they really shouldn't.

So imagine her surprise to find a toddler scrambling all over her, trying to get his tiny tush seated on her lap. Because of her different view on life (others call it demented), not much surprises her anymore so the sudden rush of the unfamiliar emotion sort of gives her a bit of a headache. Bringing a hand to her temple, she looks to Cat who appears more puzzled than usual and that's _never_ a good sign.

'Jade?' Cat says hesitantly. 'There's a kid on your lap.'

Then, as if Cat just opened the gates to hell, _everyone_ starts talking at the same time.

'Jade's your _mother_?'

'Is it safe for a child to be _that_ close to Jade?'

'I don't know but... is it just me or does the kid actually look _relieved_ to see Jade?'

'Hey, Cat. Can I have your lollipop?'

'I can't believe Jade has a _kid_!'

'Sinjin, didn't I ask you to leave my classroom? Wait... are you _crying_?'

But Jade hears none of this, only how her heart beat is steadily picking up speed. The only thing she feels is how warm this kid is in her arms. Swallowing, she looks down at the only source of calmness in the room. This tiny boy who is playing with her hair, twisting it around his fat baby fingers like he _owns her_. In his tiny denim jeans and black long-sleeved shirt and sneakers, the kid _does_ look like a miniature hybrid of her and Beck. But yeah. Jade would remember if she was pregnant for nine months of her life.

And she wasn't, people. So stop looking at her weird.

The little boy looks up at her, his blue eyes curious and full of innocence and somehow she remembers those eyes. She remembers being four and looking at herself in the mirror while pretending to be a princess and fixing the plastic tiara on her head.

(Because once upon a time, Jade West believed in fairy tales and that fairy tales and love stories were one in the same. Then her parents got divorced and that taught her the difference.)

'Okay,' she says slowly, finally finding her voice. 'What's going on here?'

Beck throws his hands up in the air. 'That's exactly what I'd like to know.'

Cat's hand shoots up in the air. 'Oh! Oh! Oh! I know! I know!'

Everyone turns to her only to have Cat look at them expectantly with her little smile.

'Yes, Cat?' Sikowitz prompts, sighing.

'Maybe we should ask the little boy?' she answers, stating the obvious that everyone's managed to overlook.

And that's how Jade finds herself seated on a chair on the stage with a toddler happily bouncing on her lap. Sure, she would prefer it if she didn't have to act as the kid's personal jungle gym. However, try as she might to pry the kid off her, he just wouldn't let go. (And maybe, she wasn't trying all that hard either. Whatever.)

'Let's start with the basics.' Sikowitz begins, suddenly the level-headed adult in the midst of the oddest moment in Jade's life. 'What's your name, young man.'

The little boy, suddenly shy, places his hands on Jade's shoulders, knees on her lap and leans over to whisper in her ear. 'Thad.'

Jade pauses for a moment. 'As in Thaddeus?'

Thad grins up at her and nods. 'Like my grape grandpa!'

'_Great_ grandpa,' Jade finds herself saying. She takes a shuddering breath and her eyes flicker involuntarily to Beck's. She sees the realization dawning in his eyes. How can someone, outside of Beck, know such an intimate detail about her life? Her family is something she _never_ talks about unless to dispense some scathing remarks about her parents' questionable parenting skills. But...

'He's the coolest old dude ever, right mommy?' Jade finds herself nodding stiffly. 'Too bads I didn't getta know him.'

'Jade...'

It's only when she sees Beck's look of concern and the wide-eyed surprise on everyone else's face does she realize that her cheeks her wet. It's odd. Her heart is breaking, the heart she didn't think could break any more than it already has. Her fingertips tingle and her palms itch in a way that makes her want to reach out and touch Beck. But touching Beck isn't allowed.

'Don't cry, mommy.' She hears Thad whisper then feels his small fingers wiping her eyes. 'You always say crying people are stupid people so we don't cry, right mommy?'

It's out before she can stop it, a chuckle that slides out of her throat and pushes past her lips. Thad looks absurdly pleased with himself for having achieved such a miraculous feat.

'All right then, Thad...' Sikowitz scratches his head. 'I suppose we should continue or something. Uh...'

'Can you tell us what your full name is, Thad?' Tori asks, holding her phone up. 'I can call my dad up and he can help us out.'

Instead of answering, Thad holds his left arm up and pulls his sleeve down to reveal a little gray bracelet that's about an inch wide and made of some waterproof fabric. Beck's out of his seat in an instant, examining it for a moment before pulling on its velcro closure and removing it completely.

'It's an ID bracelet,' Beck finally says.

Jade rolls her eyes. 'No chiz, Chizlock. Wanna tell Cat you think her hair's red?'

Cat giggles.

Sikowitz sighs.

Tori waves her phone in the air.

And Beck rolls his eyes as he seems prone to do whenever he's anywhere near her. A few seconds later and he's pulling out a white strip of what appears to be paper of some sort with something written on it. His brow furrows as he reads it and his troubled expression worries Jade just a tiny bit.

'Well?' Jade doesn't mean to sound so curt, but when situations are like this (confusing and maybe a _little_ scary) she finds comfort in the aggression. It's what she knows best. Her default mode. 'What does it say?'

She watches as Beck's adam's apple bobs up and down when he swallows before speaking. 'Thaddeus West Oliver... There are two names listed here as emergency contacts.' His eyes are full of wonder as looks up to face her. 'Yours and mine. But the numbers are different. It's even your handwriting, Jade.'

'You gave it to me, mommy. Cos you says I get into things.'

Yes, well. Apparently _Beck Oliver_ gets into things too (namely, _her_) because now they have a baby that's... What? From an alternate universe? A different dimension? From the _future_? Wait... She isn't actually buying into this, right? Oh no. Nothing about this spells logical. What this _does_ spell is insane. Yeah. Crazy. Totally crazy. And like... impossible.

And seriously robbing her of her eloquence.

'And I'm always running around and stuff,' Thad continues on while absentmindedly playing with Jade's hair once again. 'And you says some day Imma get losted and leave the set.'

'The set,' Jade repeats and seriously she doesn't know why she keeps talking to this kid. She doesn't like kids. Not really. Except for maybe this one and she _doesn't get it_.

Thad nods. 'When you work on the set,' he says matter-of-fact. 'You sit behind a fancy camera and you yell at people. But when daddy's standing in front of the camera and you never yell at him. Don't you 'member, mommy?' By the time Thad finishes explaining, he has both his hands on her cheeks, squishing them together as he looks her in the eye.

Huh. So this is what it's like to be on the receiving end of her '_god_, you must be stupid' look. Not very pleasant. She shrugs the kid's hands off her face and fixes him with a stern look.

And the little monster just giggles it off. It's baffling, really.

'Erm, okay, I'm not sure how much of a surprise it's going to be when I tell you that those numbers don't exist.' Beck says, lowering his mobile from his ear. 'What do we do now?'

Thad reaches up toward her again and tries his best to wrap his short arms around her neck. When he realizes he can't, he settles for wrapping them around her waist and laying his head against her arm.

'When are we going home?' he mumbles. 'I bet Dylan misses us.'

'Dylan?' Jade asks against her better judgment.

Thad rubs his nose with the back of his hand. 'My sister!'

Every mouth falls open.

Beck drops his phone.

Sinjin faints.

...

**Author's Note:** This turning into a total mind-frack, really.

Also, small question. Is anyone else having difficulty using ffnet on Google Chrome? It wouldn't let me upload or edit documents properly. I had to update with firefox :/ which okay, isn't that big of a deal, but I love my chrome.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **TEH AWESOME. That's what you guys are. Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews. :] I honestly didn't think that a lot of people would read it because it's borderline crack and all... But here you all are :] Reading my borderline crack fic!

So remember when I said that this is going to be four chapters give or take? Looks more like a give because there will definitely be a 5th chapter and a 6th chapter to round everything off. :]

Also, I have a new story up! Please humor me and shuffle on over to 'Oh, the cleverness of you and me...' as I think you might enjoy that as much as you enjoy this (I hope) :]

.

**Little Darling**

**(like living in a chiz factory. kind of.)**

...

No matter how much Beck wants to close his mouth, he just _can't_. It's really frustrating. He imagines a life where his mouth is perpetually open and he thinks, _damn_, how many flies is he going to end up swallowing? Thankfully, Jade is the first one to snap to and he watches as she sticks her hands underneath the kid's armpits and holds Thad in front of her, her expression completely aghast.

'You mean to tell me there's _two_ of you?' Thad nods. 'You're saying that I popped _two_ of you out of my—'

'_Jade_!' everyone yells at the same time.

Except for Cat who shouts her own name immediately after (because 'I like this game! Me next!') and Sinjin who is still lying prostrate on the floor as a result of no one bothering to catch him when he fainted.

Jade rolls her eyes and stands up, the boy dangling in the air before promptly being deposited onto the chair that she just vacated. Thad pouts a little at this and Beck can see something he's never seen in Jade before... uncertainty? Jade never second-guesses herself. That's one of the things that attracted him to her, how she was always so unapologetically herself. But now with this future-son-kid she seems a lot more unsure of herself.

He knows exactly what she's feeling, though, because they're in the same boat with this kid who claims to be their son from... somewhere. The future? Hopefully not the _near_ future because that would just be the icing on the cake. He reaches out to touch her hand but she quickly pushes him away.

He gets it, okay? He dumped her. He doesn't get to just touch her whenever he wants anymore (which just all the fracking time). He doesn't get to do any of the things they used to do (three am phone calls, rubbing his toes against her legs, writing her silly notes and sticking them in her locker) and while it's supposed to get better with time, time has done nothing but make everything harder. Because he can see her moving on and away from him and...

Beck feels something pull on his shirt and it's Thad who has his arms stretched up, obviously wanting to be carried. He obliges, lifting the kid up and Thad squeals with unconcealed joy.

'Are you really mine?' he asks Thad, the words tumbling out of his mouth unchecked. He sees Jade's raised eyebrows but he pays her no attention.

Thad, on the other hand, presses his tiny cheek against his father's chest and nods. 'You look like daddy and you talk like daddy.' He presses his tiny nose against Beck's shirt. 'You smell like daddy, too. But...' Thad sniffs him again. 'Different.'

'Different how?'

Thad cocks his head to the side. 'Daddy always smell a little like mommy, too... But now you don't.'

'Yeah, okay, break it up,' Jade cuts in then surprises everyone by taking Thad from him. She never really touches people willingly. 'Let's get answers out of this tiny person so we can figure out what to do next.'

'Hey, Thad.' Beck turns to find Tori with her palm pressed up against the receiver of her mobile. 'How old are you?'

Thad holds up four fingers and Tori quickly relays the information, Beck assumes, to her father.

'You know when your birthday is, buddy?'

Thad nods. 'Soon!' he says excitedly. 'Mommy says I can have a circus party. With jugglers and clowns and everything.'

'Whoa, hold on. Mommy said you can have _clowns_ at your party? That seals it, I'm not—What are you doing? Thad?' Jade covers both her eyes with her hands. 'Stop doing that. I can't think when you look at me that way.'

Beck chuckles. Oh man. Those _have_ to be the world's worst puppy dog eyes ever. Seriously. Those soft pleading blue eyes... A shiver runs down his spine. Beck's parents always told him that he could get away with murder with _his_ puppy dog eyes but Thad has it down to an art.

He shakes his head as he kneels in front of the kid. 'Okay, your birthday's soon. You know how soon?'

Thad nods, the puppy dog eyes disappearing completely. '_Very_ soon,' he answers very emphatically.

So much for that.

Tori gestures to Beck. 'My dad says that he'll call back if he has anything. But we should keep trying to get as much information as we can,' she explains.

Beck nods and decides that a change of tactic is in order. 'You know how old your sister is?'

'Um...' Thad sucks in his lower lip and shakes his head. 'She's more fingers than me!'

'She's _older_?' Jade yelps from behind Beck. 'You mean to tell me—'

Beck whirls around and places his hand on her mouth. Bad mistake, he knows, going by the way she's glaring at him. Pulling her to the side (much against her will), he levels with her. 'Listen, I know that this is turning out to be one big—'

'_Clusterfu_—'

He muffles her mouth once again. 'Yes, but language like that isn't going to help things, okay? Let's just deal with this as calmly as possible. It's not going to do anyone any good to be acting this way,' he reasons. Except this is Jade and reasoning with Jade is never easy. 'There's a little boy here who thinks that we're his parents. That's the only reason why he's not scared right now. He feels safe with us, Jade. He needs us.'

It takes him a moment to realize that his hand is still firmly on her mouth and that he can feel her warm lips against his palm. Slowly, he pulls his hand away only to reveal a faint blush on Jade's cheeks. He smiles a little when he sees it and she scowls in return.

'Fine,' she relents. 'Just for today I'll tone down the... Jade. Whatever. Fine. I'll be mommy for a day.'

'Good.'

'Don't patronize me.' She mutters as he shoves him away from her.

He tries not to inhale her scent as she moves past him. Instead, he watches as Jade approaches the kid once again to ask him a question. 'Do you remember where you were before you got here, Thad?'

'Yeah. You and daddy were having a party and everyone was talking and... I went to bed.' There's a moment of hesitance that Beck catches and he wonders if the others notice too. 'I went to sleep in my bed but when I wake up, I was in a scary room that smelt like the under stuff of the sink in the kitchen.'

'Maybe he means the janitor's closet?' Robbie suggests.

Jade waves off Robbie to shut him up. 'Do you recognize anyone else in the room, Thad?'

Thad nods slowly then points to Andre. 'That's uncle Andre! He sings a lot on TV.'

'Nice!' Andre reaches over and gives Thad a high-five, much to the little boy's delight. 'That's Aunt Tori. She has _lots_ of kids.'

'Um, okay?' Tori says, the smile on her face small and uncertain. 'That's it? No singing on TV for me?'

Thad shakes his head. 'Nope. You have babies _all_ the time. Mommy says that one day you're gonna burst because your tummy is always so full of babies.'

Everyone grimaces at the image of an exploding Tori. Jade, though, pats Tori's shoulder.

'Congratulations, Vega. You're a walking baby factory.'

'And that's Aunt Cat. She's my fairy godmother.'

'Yay!' Cat claps her hands and bounces on her seat. 'I'm a fairy!'

'I think the kid means you're his godmother, Cat,' Andre explains to a crestfallen Cat.

'But a godmother is just as good, right?'

Andre scratches his head. 'Uh, yeah. Sure.'

'Yay!' Cat claps her hands once again and bounces on her seat. 'I'm a godmother!'

'Mommy and Daddy and me and Dylan go see aunt Cat and we watch her sing and dance on a stage. Did I say it right, mommy? It's a stage, right?' Thad turns to Jade then, a big grin on his face.

'Yeah, a stage. That's right,' Jade replies slowly and Beck can see the beginnings of a smile playing along her lips. He knows that, try as she might not to like the kid, she already does. So does he actually.

'She's a witch! But a good witch! Like with magic wand and everything!'

'Yay! I play a good witch!'

'What about me?' Robbie asks excitedly. 'Do you recognize me?'

Thad studies him for a moment then shakes his head slowly.

'Uncle Robbie?' Robbie says hopefully.

'Oh! I have a uncle Robbie, but I don't see him a lot. Mommy says uncle Robbie lives in a bad place.'

'A bad place?' Robbie's voice cracks a little.

'Yeah. Canada.'

Beck throws his hands up in the air. 'Jade? _Seriously_?' He pulls on her arm, bringing her face-to-face with him.

'What?' Jade says between laughs and Robbie asking what in the world is Canada. 'What are you so mad about?'

'Canada is a bad place? How can you teach him something like that?'

Jade shoots him a weird look. 'Dude. _I _didn't.'

That's true. Man, when did start thinking that Thad is really his kid? He isn't a father. Not to Thad, not to anyone else. But why does this feel right? His thoughts are conveniently interrupted by the ringing of the bell.

Sikowitz leaps out the window.

Everyone else dashes for the door—all with excuses. (_We need to do a thing. Yeah. A thing. Somewhere._)

Sinjin is still on the floor.

And Thad yawns.

'Great. Now what?' Jade sighs and sits on the platform. Thad comes up behind her and wraps his arms about her neck. And it's such pretty picture that they paint, Jade and Thad together. 'What do you think we should, Thad?'

It's a legitimate question. They can't go to class lugging around a kid like a school bag.

'We should go eat. I'm hungry. I want pancakes.' Beck can't help but grin at how decisively Thad speaks for such a young boy.

Jade turns to him and shrugs. 'Your place? My mom's... you know. She's home and she probably won't like that I'm bringing home my four-year-old son whose dad is my seventeen-year-old ex-boyfriend.'

Ex-boyfriend. Beck seriously hates the sound of that.

'Let's go then.' He shrugs and picks up both his bag and Jade's. Before they can make it out the door, however, Thad tugs on Beck's hand.

'Daddy, I need to go potty.'

...


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Thank you again, to everyone's who's been reading my story :] Especially those of you who have taken the time to leave your kind words in a review. You guys are just too awesome! I can't believe that the story has 81 reviews so far! Craaaaaaazy! :] Major love to everyone!

A lot of you have been mentioning Thad and how cute/adorable he is. I have to say that he is inspired by my little brother who just turned 5 :] He, much to his dismay, did not have a circus at his birthday.

The following is sort of going to be an emotional rollercoaster because _of course_ this has to happen. It's Beck and Jade! Oh, and Thad!

.

**Little Darling**

**(oh look. a silver lining.)**

...

Okay. So.

As it turns out, being a parent isn't actually too bad. In fact, this parenting business is kind of easy. Which, of course, makes Jade resent her parents more because why are they just so _awful_ at it? Seriously. She could teach her parents a thing or two. Except how is she supposed to explain coming about this vital information? It will be difficult telling them everything without them thinking that she isn't on any sort of drugs. Which may prove impossible, seeing as how they've probably been thinking that she's been on _something _ (because that would explain _so much, _Jade imagines her father saying) for the longest time.

But yeah, this parenting chiz? Total cake. Unless she counts the whole potty debacle then that would probably downgrade the cake to a pie, but pie is still good. In its own way, it's very good.

She peers surreptitiously over the car magazine that she's been pretending to be interested in for the past ten minutes and observes 'father and son' watching cartoons on Beck's small and 'really old' television. (Apparently future-alternate-reality-them still had the RV and the little guy recognized it instantly though they had to dodge questions about why all of Beck's things were in it when they'd converted it into a sort of playroom.) She watches the two both plopped down on their stomachs full of pancakes, chins propped on folded hands, shaggy hair spilling over their faces and it's eerily identical how the two of them are. Especially earlier when they were eating and Thad kept insisting to put more pancake syrup.

'How come maple syrup is good if it comes from,' Thad lowered his voice to a whisper, '_Canada_?'

'Canada is not a bad place, Thad,' Beck had chastised him while pouring copious amounts of the saccharine goodness over his own miniature mountain of pancakes. 'Despite what your mother insists.'

'Mommy says it's not _all_ bad.' How Thad managed to get that out with his cheeks puffed out with food much like a chipmunk is beyond her.

'Yeah?'

Thad washed his full mouth with a gulp of milk and nodded. 'Yeah, she says it's not all bad because you're from the bad place. I mean, the bad place that isn't all bad,' Thad quickly corrected himself. 'I mean _Canada_.'

Without knowing it, Thad had set off a bomb in Beck's RV. Or more like a series of bombs that he let off with each innocent question that left her and Beck increasingly more awkward around each other.

_Mommy, where are your things_?

_Daddy, how come you aren't holding my mommy's hand like you always do_?

_Mommy, where's your _ring? _You _always_ wear it_!

The last one sort of went off in front of Jade's face because how else could she explain the sudden wealth of tears in her eyes. Because the truth is... and frack, she will _kill_ anyone who finds out... She _wants_ this. She doesn't want Thad to come from some alternate universe in a life she'll never have. As ridiculous as this train of thought is beginning to sound, she wants Thad to come from a future that will be her life. And it's crazy for her to even admit something like that because it's been a very long time since she's been honest with herself. Since Beck broke up with her, he left this nasty black hole inside her that she's been attempting to fill with dreams of _more_ lights and fame and fortune and glitz and glamor and it's so effin _hard_. Despite dreams of making it in Hollywood, Jade knows in her heart that she still wants _him_.

And it is FRUSTRATING.

Because he doesn't want her. Not the way he used to. Not anymore.

'You know you want to watch cartoons, Jade,' Beck singsongs from the bed, his eyebrows wagging at her as he beckons her over with the crook of a finger. 'Come join us, Jade. Come join the dark side. We have Spongebob.'

And when he says things like that, when he tries to be sweet and act like how he used to... She can't take it. So she flings the magazine to the side and leaves. She gets maybe six steps from the RV when she hears him chasing after her and then feels his fingers on her arm. And they burn her, they do. In a such a beautiful yet painful way.

'I'm sorry,' he says in a rush when she turns around to face him. He looks confused and she can't blame him. 'I'm not sure why you're mad. If it's because you think I implied you're stupid because I want you to watch Spongebob then that's totally the opposite of what I want you to think...'

She shakes her head and wills herself for the _third_ time that day not to cry. 'I can't do this. It's too hard, okay?'

'What? What are you talking about? Thad's hardly a handful—'

'I mean this!' Jade gestures wildly between the two of them. 'I mean _us_. This is hard for me, okay? I can't... pretend like this anymore. I can't act my way through this, Beck. It's too much.'

'Jade...'

'I'm sorry.' She hates how broken she sounds, how broken she feels. How the tears are streaming down her cheeks. 'But... you broke my heart, Beck. It's broken and... I'm not sure how to fix it or if it will ever be fixed. And that scares me, okay? Because what if this is how I'll feel forever? What if all I'll ever know is this heart break—'

'You won't,' Beck bites out, shaking his head vehemently.

She mops up her tears with the sleeves of her shirt. 'Shut up, Beck. You don't get it. I've been trying really hard, okay?' She sees how his brow furrows and sighs. 'I've been trying hard to learn how to do this without you and for the most part... I think I'm doing pretty good. But this here? What we're doing now... I'm not ready for this.'

'And you think I am?'

'Well you dumped me... What am I supposed to think?' The anger is back in a flash. The anger that is so familiar that it is almost a friend. 'You left me standing out there _alone_. You decided that. Not me.'

'You think it was easy for me?' Beck counters, his tone matching hers spite for spite. 'You think that that was a decision I _wanted_ to make? Our relationship was going there whether we wanted it to or not. We were destructive, Jade. We stopped listening to each other! It felt like we were just waiting around for the next fight to happened.' He runs his hands through his hair, one of his few habits. When he speaks again it's in a softer voice, tired almost like he's tired of these words. 'It would have been stupid of us to stay together acting the way we were because it would have ended eventually and it would have been far more awful. That time, that day, when you on the other side of that door, that's all I kept thinking... But if you think I _wanted_ to break up with you then you're dead wrong.'

'But you still did it!' she yells stubbornly, still trying to hold on desperately to the resentment, the hurt, the _loneliness_. 'You _broke_ me!'

'I know! I'm sorry!' he yells, throwing his hands in the air. 'I'm so sorry, Jade. I'm sorry. I've been trying to talk to you for weeks about this—

'Well, you didn't try hard enough!'

'Jade...' He stares at her in disbelief. 'Like anyone could ever make you do something you don't want to do.'

Okay, valid point. But the negativity that has been fueling her for so long refuses to be talked down. In fact, this is the most alive she's ever felt in weeks. She can feel the fire singing through her veins and it's so addicting that she can't stop. 'Whatever, Beck! You could have—'

'When?' he cuts in and his tone dripping with irritation. 'When you've made it a point to avoid me at every turn? When I tried to talk to you when we were still together, you called me a _kidnapper_. I imagine you'd call me worse now if I tried to force you to get you alone.'

'I can call you something worse right now!'

'Well, go ahead!'

'I can't! Our kid's in the RV and he can hear us!'

They stare at each other, panting heavily after such a ridiculous exchange, neither wanting to be the first to look away. Unfortunately for both of them, Thad has other plans as he jumps down from the RV and walks over to them, coming to a stop when he's between them.

'Don't you 'member the rules?' he asks timidly. 'Daddy, you 'member the rules! You're always telling mommy to never forget the rules!'

'The rules?' Beck repeats, finally tearing his gaze away from her to look at Thad. Reluctantly, Jade does the same.

Happy to be the center of attention of both his parents, Thad grins and holds up a finger. 'You can only yell when you're making sense. Yelling is a pretty ledge.'

Pretty ledge? Oh. Privilege.

Thad holds up another finger. 'Every prollem has a solution. If you break it... you fix it?'

Jade raises an eyebrow. 'Yeah, come on, _Beck. _Fix everything you broke.'

He rolls his eyes. 'Jade...' She hates the way he sounds like he's exhausted. 'It's not like I didn't get my heart broken either.'

'Are you kidding me? Again, if might remind everyone, you broke up with me!' She's pretty sure what she's yelling makes sense.

'I know! And I'm sorry!' He yells back. 'But that doesn't mean that I don't love you because I still fracking love you, okay?'

'Well, I still love you, too! So there!'

'Good!'

'Great!'

Beck's eyes soften and Jade can't help but smile a little. She was so sure about how he felt about her and it turns out that she never really knew. She supposes that's what happens when you stop listening—you miss out on the important details. But she knows that they're far from fixed. There's still so much left to say, still so much hurt left in her heart. But it'll be easier now that she knows Beck still feels the same.

'Wait, I 'member now,' Thad says, looking at his two fingers. 'If you break it, we all fix it together! Because daddy says that's we're a family and that's what we do.'

'That's right, Thad.' Beck smiles back at her. 'What's the next rule?'

'Number three, after fighting you gotta 'member why you love each other. Like when Dylan and I was fighting and after Dylan says she loves me because I'm fun to play with when I'm not being annoying and I say I love her because she tells good scary stories.' He looks at them expectantly, waiting for them to follow instructions.

Beck's the first to speak up. 'Oh, okay, buddy.' He scratches the back of his head.

'Don't strain yourself too much there, Beck,' she says but her sarcasm has lost that bite.

He rolls his eyes, but he grins. It's that boyish silly grin that she hasn't seen in a while and it feels so much better than sort of vengeful feeling that she's had since they broke up. 'Jade... I've been in love with you ever since that day when you knocked on my door in your Sunshine Girl uniform with a wagon full of Fudge Balls behind you. You looked absolutely annoyed that you had to be there. Then you told my mother that you had to sell as many Fudge Balls as you can or else you'll be sent to a sweatshop in Cambodia where they make doll heads... I thought you were awesome.'

Crab. She'd been ten at the time and her stint with the Sunshine Girls had been her mother's horrible attempt to get her to be social. It didn't work.

But this story, she hasn't heard. Beck never mentioned it to her before because as far as she knew, they only met when they first started at Hollywood Arts.

'I loved you even more when I finally met you at Hollywood Arts and I was grateful that you weren't in some sweatshop in Cambodia. You were dark and mysterious. You were a puzzle. I decided that you were _my_ puzzle that I needed desperately to solve.' He reaches out for her hand and it's so cheesy but she allows him to take her hand in his. 'I love your fire, your passion. I love that I don't have to worry about you all the time. I do, but I don't have to. I love that your eyes light up only for me. That your best smiles are mine. That I'm the only who really gets you. And I do... I promise. I promise I always will. While I'm at it, I'll promise to follow these rules because they're pretty darn useful.'

Jade chuckles and dabs at the fresh tears in her eyes. 'Beck and Jade Oliver are pretty smart.'

'_We're_ pretty smart,' Beck adds.

Because in that instant, they know. Without a single strand of doubt, they know that Thaddeus West Oliver _will_ be theirs and they can't wait to meet his sister.

'It's your turn, mommy!'

She takes a deep breath. 'I guess... I don't. Okay...' Another deep breath. 'I think—no, I know that I want to say sorry. I know I can be a gank and when I am, it's not pleasant for anyone. I'm sorry that those weeks leading up to the whole breakup, I wasn't really myself. And I know you're right. We would have broken up later even if we hadn't broken up then.' A third breath. 'I'm sorry I forgot how important you are to me, Beck. Because... you are. I should never take us for granted... I just thought you'd always be there and then you weren't...'

Her heart feels like it's breaking all over again, but this time it's better because he takes her in his arms and holds her tight. And somehow it's okay that she's this vulnerable because she's with people who love her. Who she loves. 'And I love you, okay? Even when you're being stupid, with your stupid hair and your stupid words and your wanting to be stupid together. Because I love all of those things about you.' She feels him wipe the tears from her cheeks and finally she feels...

_Fine_.

'This is the part where you kiss, right? That's the last rule.' From the corner of Jade's eye, she can see Thad make a face. '_Eww_.'

Jade can't help but chuckle and Beck reaches out to ruffle the kid's hair.

'Yup,' he confirms. 'This is the part where I kiss her.'

This is the part where Beck kisses her.

'_Eww_!'

...


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** Following chapter contains elements of a different show. :] And FLUFF. Fluff ahead.

Lyrics are from Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles

More notes at the end of the chapter. :]

.

**Little Darling**

**(there's a scientific explanation for this. somewhere.)**

...

Feeling especially proud of himself, Thad stifles a giggle with his hand. He's done quite a lot of good today. (Dylan would be so very proud of him and maybe stop tweaking his nose all the time. He super duper hates it when she does that.) It's dark outside the RV now and he's lying down between his mommy and daddy who are both fast asleep. Or mommy and daddy when they were still going to school.

Oh yeah. He knows.

He went back in time.

He looks to his left and studies his daddy for a moment, then presses his nose against his chest. Yup. That's the way daddy should smell, with that little bit of mommy scent. He flips over and wraps an arm around his mommy's waist, trying to get as close as possible and he grins widely when he feels her own arm wrap around him.

He couldn't believe it when he heard uncle Andre and aunt Tori talking about that time that mommy and daddy were _broken up_ for _years_ and none of them even thought that they would ever get back together even when it was so obvious to everyone how they still felt about each other. Dylan wasn't bothered by the idea that there had been a time that mommy and daddy was so close to not being mommy daddy. But Thad couldn't sleep at all, even when both his parents tucked him in after mommy's sang his favorite song.

So, the following morning, he decided to do something about it.

Looking at the small alarm clock from over younger mommy's shoulder, he sees the bright green numbers that tell him that it's almost time for him to leave. He pouts a little because half of him wants to stay because younger mommy and daddy are pretty funny and mommy's hair is so full of color and daddy's not having to stand in front of cameras all day. Plus, he doesn't have to share younger mommy and daddy with his _sister_. But still... he misses his parents. Okay, even his sister. And when he gets home Daddy will be making pancakes and mommy will be singing in the kitchen while making the first pot of coffee for the day.

Oh so very carefully, he eases away from his mommy, crawls to the end of the bed and slides off. He quietly pushes his feet into his shoes but doesn't bother with the laces because that's one skill that has yet to be mastered by this four-going-on-five-year-old. Gently, he eases the RV door open and winces when it squeaks a bit. Apparently, younger daddy doesn't like to oil his door hinges. He looks toward the sleeping couple and watches for any movement.

Wait. Something isn't right.

Squaring his tiny shoulders, he moves toward the slumbering pair. There's a space between them that just doesn't sit well with Thad. He places on hand on mommy's shoulder and the other one at her hip and gently pushes her until she rolls into daddy. Thad stifles another pleased giggle when daddy's arm wraps around mommy and mommy snuggles deeper into daddy's embrace.

And Dylan said he couldn't do it. Speaking of Dylan...

Moving as quickly and quietly as he can, he exits the RV and closes the door behind him. He's about to let out a sigh of relief when someone taps him on the shoulder and he lets out a sharp yelp instead.

'Holy chiz, Thaddie!' his ten-year-old sister hisses. 'Spaz out much?'

'You scared me!'

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms across her chest. 'Thaddie, it's not like that's the hardest thing to do, you know.'

'Stop calling me Thaddie! And why are you wearing that?' His sister is wearing a weird dress and a hat like the ones mommy used when she made a movie about 'something that happened a long, long time ago.'

'It's research,' Dylan replies cryptically. 'I was getting into character.'

'Oh, okay. Um.' He doesn't know what that means at all. 'Can we go home now?'

'So you did it? You got them to make-up and stuff?'

Thad grins and puffs his chest out a little. He deserves to feel quite proud of himself. 'Of course! Because I'm awesome! And adorable! Can we go home now?'

'Yeah, whatever. I wanna see them first, though.'

'What?' Thad whispers as loudly as he dares. 'No, Dylan! I wanna go home now!' And... maybe he wants the memory of younger mommy and daddy all to himself.

'That's so unfair! I just wanna see if I really look like mom like everyone says! You got to spend the entire day with them!'

'You didn't want to!'

'I needed to do research for my history class! When you can travel through time—'

'Uh, kids?' another voice says in the darkness. 'Sorry to break this up, but we really gotta get moving.'

'See, Dylan? Mr. Spencer says we gotta go now,' Thad says, the feeling of victory so very addictive. He takes her reluctant hand and pulls her along as he follows their eccentric next door neighbor who is also the reason why Thad was able to time travel.

A while back, Mr. Spencer revealed to Thad and Dylan that he'd been working on a time machine for the past ten years. Apparently he had some sort of fake spaceship in storage and he'd been thinking of what to do with it. He'd decided that a time traveling machine would be so awesome (his words). Mr. Spencer is always trying to invent something new and his garage is filled with both his successful and not so successful attempts.

But a time machine was created successfully and Thad will be eternally grateful for that. The only difficulty they encountered was trying to figure how far back to go but Dylan remembered their parents' friends mentioning the brutal breakup having happened around Valentines their junior year of high school.

The rest is history. History which hasn't actually happened.

Thank goodness it's in the dead of the night or else someone might get suspicious of two kids following an old man with wild graying hair wearing pajamas. They walk down the sidewalk and stop in front of the curious looking contraption where a small brunette girl look up at them.

'Hi,' Thad says immediately, his heart beating a little faster than normal.

She smiles just about the brightest smile that he's ever seen. 'Hi! I'm Ellie Benson!'

'I'm Thad,' he replies earnestly.

'And I'm Spencer Shay. Kids, we gotta get a move on because I have two drop-offs to make. The Olivers first then Ellie. I went back to the future which is going to be the present to check if the past which is now the present made a dent in the future which will be the present—'

'Okay!' Dylan interrupts. 'We get it, Mr. Spencer.'

'Right well, nothing's changed in the present. Just that your parents have been happily married for a little longer than they used to be.'

'That's it?'

'Uh, yeah.' Mr. Spencer coughs as he climbs into the contraption. 'Yeah, that's about it.'

'All right then. Now can we go back to 2031? I'm hungry.'

It's a tight squeeze but the four of them manage to get inside the machine. Dylan gets to sit by the window (or where a window would be if it had a window) while Thad gets to sit between his sister and the mysterious girl. They all hold on tight as the vehicle lifts a few feet from the ground and jerks a little before taking off at light speed with a roar.

Thad's going home and he can't wait to see his parents.

.

Beck startles awake as a defeaning sound rips through the night sky. His hold on Jade tightens involuntarily and—Wait, what? The tips of fingers brush against the warm skin peeking between her skirt and her shirt and it sends a slight shiver down his spine. He misses this, misses having her in his arms with her hair spilling over his pillow. He missed her boots in the corner of the RV lined up with his, missed having her scent linger in the air, on his clothes.

Carefully, he presses his lips against her temple and he holds his breath as her eyes flutter open. Her blue eyes take him for a moment, her forehead furrowing slightly before the beginnings of a smile grace her lips. He almost sighs in relief and feels bold enough now to draw her even closer to him.

'Where's Thad?'

Beck wants to smack himself. He didn't even notice the little dude wasn't anywhere in the RV. They spend the next twenty minutes looking for the kid, searching outside the RV and surrounding area but come up disappointingly empty. Jade is noticeably sad as she bites her bottom lip.

'He's gone, Beck...' she says softly. 'You think he's okay?'

He sighs as he sits on the doorway of his RV then pulls her to sit between her legs. 'I think he always knew he was going to leave eventually.'

'Yeah...' She leans against him and looks up at the night sky. 'You don't think...'

'Hmm?'

'This is going to sound ridiculous but... you don't think he...'

'Time traveled on purpose?' he finishes for her. It does sound ridiculous but he's been thinking exactly that since this afternoon when Thad came up with those rules like he was some sort of midget marriage counselor. 'I don't know, but then... I think we established that I don't know anything.'

Jade laughs softly. 'Oh, yes. My stupid boyfriend.'

His ears perk up. 'Boyfriend?'

He feels her freeze in his arms when she realizes her error and he almost hates that he's had a hand in this. She's not sure of him anymore, he knows. They may have started talking about things and admitted to still being in love with each other but he doesn't blame her for not trusting him yet.

'You know,' she begins before he can say everything that's been running through his mind. 'It's sort of a relief. I mean... I guess, you and me, huh?'

'Yup. You and me.' He seriously loves the sound of that.

She nods slowly. 'I'm still trying to sort out some things, Beck. I'm still me, you know, and the whole breakup made me realize that there are some things I need to do on my own first. I need to be happy with myself before I can find happiness with someone else.'

Despite his heart breaking, he knows she's right. 'So what do we do now? You know I love you, right? I promise to be okay with anything you decide.'

'I know. I love you, too.' She sighs and slips both of her hands into his, intertwining their fingers. 'I don't know, honestly. We're weird, you know? We can never be just friends. I think we'd end up killing each other from trying.'

He chuckles but it's halfhearted. He's never felt this conflicted before—he isn't about to let her go but he isn't going to hold her back either. 'I guess there's one thing left to do then.'

'Oh, what's that?'

Getting to his feet, he moves to stand in front of her. He watches her eyes go wide when he gets down on one knee.

'Beck! Do you want me to seriously _hurt_ yo—'

He cuts her off with a kiss then holds up both his hands when he pulls away to keep her from talking. 'Will you, Jade West,' he whispers, 'take this relationship slow with me? It'll be the slowest relationship known to man. So slow that it won't even feel like we're moving. I _propose_ that we start fresh. Wipe the slate clean and forget the past. We'll follow those handy rules. No more biting each other's head off. No more hurting each other. We'll do this the right way. The future is ours anyway—'

'Literally,' Jade says, a smile in her voice and tears in her eyes.

He grins widely before kissing her again and damn, he missed this, too—being able to kiss her whenever he feels like it. 'What do you think?'

'Yeah,' she says softly, 'Okay. At least now we know that if we ever screw up again, Thad will come to the rescue.'

'I miss him.'

'Me, too.'

Beck wraps his arms around her tightly. 'We'll see him again, though.'

'I can't wait.' Jade pulls away from him then runs her fingers through his hair. 'We made an incredibly gorgeous kid.'

'Of course. He took after me. So smart and did you see his hair?'

She slaps his shoulder and huffs. 'Um, excuse me, but did you see those eyes?'

He lets out a loud laugh before getting back onto his feet and hauling Jade onto hers. Turning her around, he makes her walk up the couple of the steps to his RV then closes the door behind him. 'Man,' he shakes his head, 'Can you imagine what our daughter's like? If she's anything like you...'

'Yeah?' He notes his girlfriend's (yes!) raised eyebrow.

'We're gonna have to beat the boys away with a stick.' He falls onto his bed and pulls her along with him.

'Good,' she mumbles against his chest. 'I like beating things.'

He kisses her forehead and grins. 'We're gonna be awesome parents.'

.

'Thaddeus West Oliver!' mommy hollers from the kitchen. 'You better get your tiny butt down here if you want pancakes!'

Thad grins and sniffs the all too familiar aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Yup. He's definitely home. Carefully, he and Dylan tiptoe through the front door and close it gently behind them. After shoving him playfully, his big sister rushes up the stairs to change out of her weird clothing. Some things will never change. Unfortunately.

He crosses their living room, lets his fingers skim the black and white keys of the grand piano in the center before turning toward the kitchen. He can already hear his mommy and daddy singing his favorite song as they stand side by side in front of the large industrial stove in their black and white kitchen. Their backs are turned to him and so Thad's presence goes unnoticed which is fine by him. He likes watching his parents together like this. Especially after all the fighting he witnessed when they were younger.

_Little darling  
>It's been a long, cold, lonely winter<br>Little darling  
>It feels like years since it's been here<em>

_Here comes the sun  
>Here comes the sun<br>and I say, 'It's all right'_

The breakfast table to the side of the kitchen is his favorite place in the house because mornings in the Oliver household is always so... eventful. One time, aunt Tori came with her bajillion of kids and they pretty much turned their home into a zoo. Mr. Spencer has the habit of setting fire to his kitchen and usually ends up having breakfast (and sometimes lunch and dinner) with them. But mostly because his family can be so loud when they want to be—singing and dancing, sliding across the marble floors in their socks, roasting marshmallows over the stove to make s'mores for breakfast. Just so many things that make him love his mommy, daddy, and even his sister.

Quietly, he pads over to his chair and before he can attempt to climb on top of it, a pair of hands slide under his armpits and lifts him onto his seat.

'Good morning, son,' Beck greets him, ruffling his hair. 'You slept all right?'

Thad smiles to himself. It's not so often that a four-almost-five-year-old can keep a secret from his parents. 'Yup! Best sleep ever!'

'That's awesome, mini me,' and he laughs when his father makes them fist bump. 'Breakfast is gonna be quick so we can get you and Dylan to school, okay?'

'Where is Dylan?' his mommy asks, busy plating up pancakes. 'I don't want to be late for my doctor's appointment.'

Doctor's appointment? Mommy's not sick, is she?

He's about to ask when his mommy turns away from the stove, carrying a plate in each hand and a basketball in her tummy. Thad's mouth drops open the exact same time Dylan screeches from the doorway.

Dylan turns it up an impressive notch. 'You're _pregnant_?' While Thad will be the first to say that Dylan is over-dramatic, he can't help but agree with her.

He isn't, however, expecting that her anger be directed at _him_.

'This is all your fault, Thaddie!'

Although, technically, it _is_ his fault. Whatever pride he felt over his feat quickly drains away and is replaced instantly with a good dose of exasperation. After all, he went through all that trouble just to come home and discover that he'll have to share his mommy and daddy with _another_ person... That wasn't part of the plan.

'Please tell me we're giving it up for adoption,' Dylan tries desperately.

Mommy calmly places the plates on the breakfast table while daddy goes to fetch the other two. 'Or,' she begins evenly, 'I can give the two of you up for adoption. We haven't really made up our minds yet. I hear there's a sweatshop in Cambodia with your name on it, Dylan. Unless you'd rather stay here and have pancakes with us?'

Begrudgingly, Dylan trudges toward the table and takes her seat. The moment after that is sort of a blur. Something like a bright light flashes before Thad's eyes and a wealth of knowledge pours into his brain, pushing aside memories to make room for new ones. Mommy's been pregnant for the last seven months, daddy actually _won_ that second gold statue, and uncle Robbie doesn't live in Canada but in New York along with Thad's godmother Cat.

'All right, so...' Daddy drawls out and his eyebrows waggle a little and Thad's a little anxious to know why his daddy's being all mischievous. 'Seeing the reaction and all... I'm guessing today's the day?'

'Today's what day?' Thad ventures hesitantly.

Mommy raises that eyebrow of hers. 'The day you went back in time,' she says simply.

As if they've practiced this a million times before, Thad and Dylan slowly open their mouths at the same time only to shut them immediately. Caught.

'What I don't understand is Dylan's reaction. If Thad was the only one who traveled back in time...' Daddy leaves off and both siblings stare at their food too studiously. 'Unless,' he continues on his trail of thought, 'Dylan also traveled back in time.'

Dylan sits up straighter and Thad can see a hint of the outline of her nervous swallow.

Mommy shrugs her shoulders. 'Either way, we have two very much in trouble kids. I wonder what we should do? Darling, do you have any suggestions?' Everything is delivered with an eerie calm that lets both kids know that they're in for a world of punishment.

'Well, we've been wanting to go a couple days vacation before the baby arrives. I was thinking they could stay the weekend at Tori's?'

Thad makes a face, his appetite lost completely. They _cannot_ be serious. They just can't. They've only ever been to aunt Tori's house once or twice and both times were _horrific_. An entire weekend would be their _death_.

A click sounds in the kitchen and Thad turns to his mom just in time to see her put her camera down. 'For posterity's sake.' She holds her hand palm-side up toward daddy, nudging his arm with the tips of her fingers. 'Pay up.'

'I'll write you a check,' daddy groans. 'You guys couldn't time travel tomorrow? Or even the day after tomorrow? Dylan stop glaring at your brother. Do you want some maple syrup?'

'_Dad_, you know I don't eat, wear or use anything that comes from... _Canada_.'

'Jade...' The name drips with mild annoyance. 'Do we need to have to talk about this again?'

Another breakfast where playful bantering takes place between the parents.

Dylan mumbles into her orange juice, shooting daggers at Thad from above the rim of her glass.

Thad sighs and shoves a bite of pancake into mouth.

Mommy nudges daddy and smiles.

And daddy taps his shoulder.

'So about your birthday, Thad... Circus theme, right?'

His fork clatters against the plate as he looks at both of his parents incredulously. 'Really?' He glances at his mother who was the driving force behind _not_ having a circus-themed party.

She shrugs lightly and smiles. 'Well... Think of it as a thank you.'

Thad feels his grin reach his ears as he begins to eat again but this time a _lot_ more gusto than before. So, everything considered... a baby on the way, a weekend at aunt Tori's, a circus-themed birthday party...

He watches as his daddy presses a kiss on mommy's pink cheek.

It's pretty worth it when you have a family like this.

...

**Author's Note: **So now we're at the end of the road!

Reviews: 104  
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Craaaaaaazy! :]

I'd like to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited and added this story to their alerts. But of course the most specialest thanks ever to those who reviewed. :] THANK YOU! I wish I could reply to everyone's review but the honest truth is that I am so fracking busy :/ But I love you all to bits and pieces, I do. Because of you guys, I've finished a story! YAY!

I had a very specific explanation for Thad's time traveling—one very whimsical and dainty, that may or may not have involved Cat as an actual fairy godmother and some sort of ongoing bet. But then after the cracktasticness of April Fools Blank and iApril Fools, I figured I _had_ to write it this way. It's the _only_ way. It's so crack. Thank you, Dan Schneider and Victorious/iCarly writers. It's like you wrote all that just to please me ;) I hope you guys didn't mind the cross-over :] But I'm a fan of both shows!

I've been thinking about this and I _might_ do some outtakes of this story later on. Thad-verse is just so addicting but I have a number of other pending stories at the moment! We'll see :]


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